What does SavageAudit check?
SavageAudit checks performance, SEO, design, copy, UX, and conversion, then adds public web context where it is available.
Free · No signup · Takes ~60 seconds
Choose Your Roaster
Same data. Different personality. Pick your poison.
🔒 Sign in free to unlock Gordon Ramsay + Simon Cowell. Go Pro for all 6 personas.
Set the Heat
🔒 Mild Burn and Medium Roast unlock with Pro.
Real roast from the AI
Live roast receipt
"Your LCP of 8.1s is longer than most people's attention spans and several pop songs."
LCP 8.1sPerformance flaggedShare-ready verdict
2,847Sites roasted
6Core audit categories
60sAverage time to full verdict
SEO + GEO + Social Audit
From website roast to growth action plan
The public roast stays viral. Logged-in full-access users now get a private SEO, GEO, social, analytics, and action view for the audited brand.
URL submittedPublic page enters the furnace
SEO + GEO scanSearch and answer-engine gaps
GSC signalsClicks, impressions, CTR
Social trustReviews, mentions, proof
Action planPrioritized fixes
SEO + GEO Audit ToolAudit the page for search engines and AI answer engines, then turn gaps into actions.Search Console DashboardConnect GSC for clicks, impressions, CTR, striking-distance queries, and landing pages.AI Growth Action PlanPrioritize SEO, GEO, social trust, conversion, and tracking fixes from one evidence pack.
How the Roast Works
Input01
Enter URL
Paste any public URL. We'll handle the rest. No signup, no credit card.
Agents02
AI Analyzes Everything
5-agent pipeline: visual analysis, Lighthouse data, external context gathering, roast writing, and quality check.
Verdict03
Get Destroyed
Receive a savage, data-backed verdict. Screenshot it. Share it. Fix it.
What We Roast
Six core dimensions. Zero mercy. Every audit hits these hard, then adds live internet context when it's available.
01
Performance
Your load time is a crime scene.
LCP, CLS, FCP, TBT — real Lighthouse metrics, not vibes. If your site loads slower than a microwave burrito, we'll tell you exactly why.
LCPCLSTBT
92% heat
02
SEO
Invisible to Google. Embarrassing for you.
Missing meta tags, broken heading hierarchy, no robots.txt — the stuff your 'SEO guy' should've caught six months ago.
MetaHeadingsRobots
84% heat
03
Design
Looks like it was built in a hostage situation.
Visual hierarchy, color contrast, typography crimes, and trust signals. We judge your font choices so your visitors don't have to.
HierarchyContrastTrust
78% heat
04
Copy
Words matter. Yours don't.
Headline clarity, CTA strength, word count, messaging coherence. If your hero text says nothing, we'll say everything.
CTAClarityMessage
72% heat
05
UX
Confusing enough to qualify as a maze.
Navigation depth, form friction, mobile layout, user flow dead-ends. We find the rage-click hotspots you pretend don't exist.
FlowFormsMobile
81% heat
06
Conversion
Traffic in. Leads out. Nothing in between.
CTA placement, social proof, contact accessibility, trust gaps. We tell you exactly why visitors bounce instead of buy.
ProofIntentFriction
88% heat
FAQ
SavageAudit FAQ
Fast answers for teams checking SEO, AI visibility, and conversion quality before they ship the next fix.
Do I need to create an account to run a website roast?
No. You can run a public single-page roast without creating an account. Full-access workflows and saved reports may require signing in.
How is this different from a normal SEO audit?
A normal SEO audit usually focuses on search metrics. SavageAudit combines SEO with page speed, UX, copy, design, conversion, and public trust signals.
Can SavageAudit help with GEO and AI visibility?
Yes. SavageAudit highlights search and answer-engine gaps so teams can improve pages for Google, AI answers, citations, and buyer trust.